Where to live: London or Mars? A deep, deep analysis (not just playful comparison)

What would your life look like if you took that leap of faith and moved out of your home town to live on Mars? This is about self-care, right, and I am going to help you decide which place out of London or Mars to live.

Marcos del Mazo, Getty Images. Taken from Spain.

It would be bleak, of course. You'd suffocate the minute you step off the spacecraft because of the fact that there's <1% oxygen in Mars' atmosphere. Pretty deadly, there's no wonder that Mars is the planet of war and destruction.

But what if life really did live on this planet despite its ever-changing biomes? What would these creatures look like? And how different would life look if us humans moved over there?

What would an evolved creature look like on Mars?

It must be adapted to breathing 95% carbon dioxide and must have tough skin for this toxically thin atmosphere. Maybe it would have some kind of deformed, really strong lungs and skin like leather. Maybe it doesn't even need to be on the surface – oh my, there are just so many possibilities, I feel like I'm running! We know it would need water, but water can only be found well below the surface of the planet so maybe it would live in those conditions, with even thinner air. Maybe it can dig, better than moles so it would have HUGE claws, OR–! Or, it could have a HUGE beak to suck the water from below the surface like storks or woodpeckers but bigger.

What do you think creatures would look like? If you know more about Mars than me, send me your drawing or any kind of description. My email is in my contact page.

What would we look like on Mars?

But that doesn't really sounds like us, as humans, obviously, you know that, so humans, you know, the guys at NASA, are attempting to control the environment on Mars to make it suitable for human inhabitation. Yeah that's more like us, using our advanced technology to impose ourselves into other locations. What they're doing is literally just taking oxygen from carbon dioxide with MOXIE (Mars Oxygen In-situ Resource Utilisation Experiment), according to space.com. I very much want to name my cat Moxie, but I don't think my cat would produce oxygen.

So if we do make it to Mars, intact, do you think we'd need to wear space suits or wear oxygen tanks if we suddenly couldn't rely on MOXIE? Would it just be MOXI? That's an even cuter name. So not only would we have to make sure we bring our keys when we leave the house, but we'd also have to remember our breathing tubes for the thin air or our MOXI appliance – or would MOXI be like a large-scale industry and there are MOXI factories? Soooo many possibilities, I'm shivering.

So, Mars or London?

Can you imagine? Everyone's taking sunset pictures back on Earth, your 'basic' picture would be their whole planet. And the calendar's all different: solar days are 24hrs 39mins compared to the 24hr Earth day and I say that's really pretty awkward not being rounded off to the hour but we can't control space, so. And there are SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY EIGHT – 668 – of them! Do you even know what to do with that time? Would you enjoy those longer seasons?

Would you sacrifice London's busy and entertaining environment for a secluded, oxygen-less one on the next planet over? Is knife crime and the job market enough reason to land yourself into nothingness? I find the prospect of living on Mars exciting but I would run out of things to talk about; all that there would be on this site would be, "day 50: loneliness continues" and "I found a weir rock today, it's made up of this substance" until I could work out how to use the environment to my advantage.

Love ya, London, even though you're so annoying.